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Archives | The Divorce Whisperer®

Short + Long-Term Goals to Set When Leaving Your Spouse

YOU’VE DECIDED TO LEAVE.  SO WHAT DO YOU DO NOW? •      SHORT TERM GOALS 1)         START SAVING MONEY. 2)         START KEEPING A JOURNAL OF ANY MARITAL MISCONDUCT WITH DATES AND TIMES. 3)         OPEN A BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR NAME, ONLY. 4)         ESTABLISH CREDIT IN YOUR OWN NAME, IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY. 5)         FIND AND MAKE COPIES OF ALL IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS, INCLUDING THE LAST 3 YEARS OF TAX RETURNS. 6)         TO GET DIRECTION, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH AN ATTORNEY FOR INFORMATION AND EVALUATION ON YOU SPECIFIC CASE.  BRING ANY DOCUMENTS YOU HAVE. 7)         INVESTIGATE ALL YOUR ASSETS, DETERMINE THEIR VALUE, AND CONSIDER WHETHER YOUR SPOUSE MAY HAVE ANY HIDDEN ASSETS. 8)         EVALUATE WHERE YOU WILL LIVE.  IF YOU WILL BE MOVING, CHECK OUT THE HOUSING MARKET AND RENTALS TO DETERMINE COST OF LIVING. 9)         ARRANGE FOR THE CAR TO BE IN TOP WORKING ORDER. 10)       SCHEDULE YOUR DENTAL WORK AND MEDICAL CHECKUPS BEFORE LEAVING, FOR BOTH YOU AND THE CHILDREN. 11)       MAKE CERTAIN YOU HAVE AN ADEQUATE WARDROBE FOR WORK. •       LONG TERM GOALS:        CREATING A FINANCIAL PICTURE OF YOUR FUTURE. 1)         EVALUATE YOUR PRESENT FINANCIAL CONDITION AND JOB SITUATION. 2)         DRAW UP A MOCK BUDGET OF WHAT IT WILL COST YOU TO LIVE SEPARATELY. 3)         WITH INPUT FROM AN ATTORNEY, FIGURE OUT APPROXIMATE INCOME AND EXPENSE TO DETERMINE SPOUSAL SUPPORT AND CHILD SUPPORT. 4)         CALCULATE YOUR SEPARATE INCOME. 5)         SET GOALS FOR YOU CAREER FUTURE, AND START TAKING STEPS TOWARD THAT...

NASW 2013 Show-Me Symposium

On March 16th, Pam Huggins and I will be speaking at the NASW 2013 Show-Me Annual Symposium in Lake Ozark, MO.  Here’s a description of our session: (4B) Mediate Because Families Are Fragile (1.5 clock hours) Pamela J. Huggins, MSW, ACSW, LCSW, Saint Louis University, St. Louis, MO Mediation as a method for divorcing couples can actually strengthen families. Through mediation sessions, couples can work out how they will co-parent and communicate with each other in the future. In this session, Ms. Papa, will describe the essence of divorce mediation and relate many examples from her years as a mediator, divorce attorney, and national mediation trainer. Ms. Huggins will elaborate on her beginning work in mediation and how social work skills are key to being an effective mediator. Click here for more information and to download a registration form for this year’s Symposium.  Hope to see you in March!...